Title: Just the Once
Rating: R, for some naughtiness
Summary: Buffy and Spike play a drinking game, and secrets come out. Post-series.
Note: The main pairing is B/S, but it contains mention of past m/m and f/f relationships.
Thank you, enigmaticblues!
Dawn made a whimper that sounded like a dying duck. It was singularly the most pitiful sound Buffy had ever heard, and on those merits alone she found herself starting to weaken. She glared at Dawn.
"Oh, fine. But only because I'm the nicest person ever."
"You are! Yes!" Dawn held out both hands and made a grabby motion. "Now gimme!"
"You're such a lush. And you're not even old enough, so I'm being extra-nice."
"Oh, please. I'm in college. Besides, you can pretend we're still in Europe. I'm totally old enough there."
Buffy hesitated, then shrugged and tossed Dawn the key. "You know, this is true. And I guess you deserve it for the straight A's."
Dawn threw open the door of Spike's liquor stash and started rummaging around inside.
"And you deserve it too, Miss Slayer-in-Chief," she said from the depths of the cabinet. "Eight-three days without injury! It's a new record."
"This is true too," Buffy acknowledged, settling into the most comfy chair in the room with a happy sigh. "Xander wants to post a sign, but I think that would jinx things. I don't think I've ever seen the infirmary completely empty before. Well, except for Mona. Again."
Dawn made a face. "The killer cramps are back?"
"Right on schedule. You know, for a Slayer, that girl has the worst pain tolerance ever." Buffy blinked at the deep green liquid in the bottle Dawn held up to the light. "Do I want to know what that is?"
Dawn frowned at the label. "It's not in English. I don't think it's in Human."
"No," Buffy said firmly. "Real drinks only. It would probably give you bat wings or turn you into a giant or something."
"Gah." Dawn shuddered and put the bottle back. "No thank you. Doesn't he have any rum or something?" She dug around in the back of the cabinet and reemerged moments later with a crow of triumph. "Yes!"
Buffy looked at the bottle of....
"Since when does Spike keep Baileys around?" she asked.
"I know, right? What a girl. It's almost like he knew we'd be in here." Dawn skipped into the kitchen. "Do I need to get ice?" she called back into the living room.
"Yes!" Buffy shouted in return. "Ooh! And I think there's some leftover Halloween candy in the back of the pantry. Unless you've already eaten it all."
Dawn came out of the kitchen balancing glasses, ice and a bag of peanut butter cups. "Xander was here last night and stole just about everything, but I managed to hide these behind the instant soup. He never remembered to check the bottom shelf. What a rookie."
"That's the guy we know and love," Buffy said, pouring each of them a small helping of the Baileys. Dawn looked askance at her glass and gave Buffy a pointed look. Buffy sighed and added a bit more.
"Fine. But only one glass, okay?"
Dawn nodded and took a sip. "Totally."
The first thing Spike heard upon coming through the door was series of high-pitched giggles. He almost turned around and left - the last thing a man wanted was to come home to a pack of superpowered teeny boppers squatting in his space, right? - but he hesitated at the last minute and peeked his head around the corner. Only Buffy and Dawn, although they were making enough noise for ten, so he relaxed and slouched his way into the room. Buffy turned a pair of over-bright eyes on him.
"Spike!" she said, a little too loudly. "You're home!" She scootched over in her chair with an enticing wriggle, patting the space next to her.
"And you're drunk," Spike said in amusement, taking in the upended glasses and discarded candy wrappers that littered the floor. Dawn hoisted herself upright from her spot on the floor and gave him a little wave. Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "You too?"
"Nah," Dawn said easily. "Or...well, tiny buzz. It's just that she has no tolerance whatsoever."
Buffy laughed as if this was the funniest thing in the world, and Spike slid himself into the space she'd left for him in the easy chair. "Any left for me?" he asked, giving Buffy a kiss on the forehead while she snurfled her laughs into his neck. It tickled, in a way that made him wish that Dawn wasn't there so he could attend to things properly. Drunk Buffy was often followed by Horny Buffy, and then - unfortunately - by Hangover Buffy. As long as he got in there sometime between the second and the third incarnations, all would be right with the world.
Dawn held the bottle up to the light and eyed it critically. "There's some," she admitted. "Not enough for a vampire."
Spike snorted. "Well, yeah. Not if you drink girly crap like that. Don't you have any real drinks?"
Dawn gave him a Look - the one that was equal parts amused contempt and withering scorn, the one that all teenaged girls seemed to be genetically capable of - and jerked her head at his open liquor cabinet. Spike winced. Oh yeah.
"I was holding it for someone!"
Dawn eyed him, the Look still firmly plastered on her face, and Spike gave up. There was nothing wrong with surrendering under the threat of superior firepower. "Fine, whatever. You tell anyone it was in there, and I'll bite you. Hand me that green bottle, would you? And no, you can't try it," he added as Dawn opened her mouth.
"Fine," she said, subsiding with a pout, and he took a long swig and swallowed happily.
"So what are you two up to anyway?"
"Playing a game," Buffy mumbled into his shoulder.
Dawn nodded. "See, you say, 'I've never,' and then add something to it. And if anyone in the room has done it, they have to take a drink."
Buffy snorted. "You're explaining it all wrong." She grabbed Spike under the chin and turned his face toward hers, breathing sweetly and unsteadily into his mouth. "See, Spike, you have to say, 'I've never something,' and if anyone in the room has done it, they have to take a drink."
"Yeah, I think I've got it now," Spike said, trying to stifle his laughter.
"It's totally easy," Buffy said. "Was it my turn?" Dawn nodded, so she cleared her throat. "I've never stolen something from the Magic Shop."
Dawn shrugged and took a sip, and Spike smiled and followed suit after Buffy elbowed in the ribs.
"Wait a sec. This is going to suck with Spike here," Dawn said.
"Not like that. I mean, you've done everything. What's the point?"
"Oh, we'll think of some good ones," Buffy said, an evil glint in her eye that made him unaccountably nervous. "He just needs to catch up to where we are."
"Yeah, Spike. Take bigger sips or something. Okay, wait. Here's one that's just for him. Just make sure you really drink this time, okay?" Dawn held up her glass. "I've never made out with Buffy."
Spike snorted in amusement and took a healthy swig from his bottle...then almost spit it out in shock when Buffy, her cheeks tinged pink, took a tiny sip from her own glass.
"Uh, Buffy?" Dawn said. "I said make out with Buffy, so...you didn't have to drink."
If anything, Buffy's face turned even pinker. "I know. And, okay, it wasn't really me, and I don't know if you could call it 'making out', although there was some tongue."
Spike exchanged a bewildered glance with Dawn, then let his face crack into a wide grin. He'd almost forgotten about the other personality that came from mixing one part Slayer and one part alcohol: Brutally Honest Buffy. No matter what, this promised a story.
"Oh?" he purred while she squirmed next to him. "Do tell." He ran his fingers up her arm, and she shivered.
"I didn't...I mean, it wasn't really...it was when Faithstolemybody." It came out in a rush, and Spike felt his grin widen even further. Oh, delicious. Dawn squeaked in shock.
"You made out with her? While she was in your body? Oh, that's so gross."
Buffy shrugged. "I didn't plan to," she admitted. "We were fighting - right before I used that mystical thingy to switch us back - and she grabbed me and kissed me. I was in shock, okay? I mean, I was kissing my own face. How weird is that?"
"Hush," Spike said soothingly. "Nothing at all wrong with that. It's natural to be curious. Now, why don't you come sit on daddy's lap and tell me all about it?"
"Oh God," Dawn muttered. "Hello? I'm still here!"
Buffy gave him a weak slap across the chest - weak for her, that is, as it would have been enough to flatten an ordinary man - and pressed the back of her hands to her cheeks to try to cool them off. "Nothing to tell," she said firmly, but she was avoiding Spike's eyes in a way that made him want to turn her over his lap and spank the secrets out of her.
"Right," Spike said, and held his glass aloft. "My turn. I've never had sex with a woman." He downed a healthy swallow, then raised his eyebrows in challenge. Sure enough, after a brief hesitation, Buffy took a sip of her own.
"Oh. My God." Dawn said. "Faith?"
Buffy buried her head in her hands. "No. I mean, yes. Gah, I suck at lying. It was just the once, okay? And it was before she went bad, so give me a little credit."
"You kissed her after she went bad," Dawn muttered, but Buffy ignored her.
"I can't believe you made me admit that in front of my sister," she hissed to Spike, not nearly as sotto voce as she imagined herself to be. She grabbed Spike's bottle and held it aloft. "I've never slept with Angel," she said firmly, then took a slug and made a face. "Bleurgh! Ugh, what is this?"
Spike glared at her, his jaw ticking. Thought she'd showed him up with her ex, had she? Well, two could play at this game. He grabbed the bottle back from her, raised his eyebrows in challenge...and took a long sip of his own.
"No way," Dawn breathed.
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "I knew it," she said. "I totally knew it! Ha!"
"And I'm afraid it was more than just the once," he said smugly. "In fact, I think it's fair to say I've been a little bit more intimate with your precious Angel than you ever were."
Buffy's right eye was twitching now, which was never a good sign. Well, not unless he was in the mood for some violence. Which he totally was, by the way.
"Dawn?" Buffy asked calmly, still staring at him. "Would you mind giving us a minute? I need to talk to Spike."
"Already gone," Dawn muttered, on her feet. "Don't mind me. Just don't destroy the furniture this time, okay? That TV's practically new." She disappeared up the stairs, and Spike let lips curl into a smirk that he knew would drive Buffy mad.
The girl in question lifted herself up until she was straddling him, locking her deadly little hands behind his neck for balance.
"Now, Spike," she said sweetly. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Spike opened his mouth, then hesitated when Buffy's eyes dilated and her mouth curled into a smile that matched his own. Oh, the little devil. Horny Buffy had arrived right on time. God, he loved this woman.
"Hmmm," he purred settling back in the chair and running his fingers up and down her jeans-clad thighs. "Why? Is there something you wanted to hear?"
Buffy swayed forward, eyes dark and heavy-lidded and promising sinful things. "You tell your story," she breathed, biting him on the earlobe and making him hiss, "and I'll tell mine."
Spike shuddered, reaching up to rip Buffy's top open right down the middle. Oh fuck, she wasn't wearing a bra. Excellent.
"Is that right?" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat and continued in his normal register. "You going to tell me all about the time you put your hands on some other girl's tits..." He suited words to action and cupped Buffy's breasts, thumbing the nipples. "...maybe played with them a bit? How long did it take before you worked up the courage to take them in your mouth, hmmm?" He brought a hand around Buffy's back and pulled her tight against him, suckling on her left breast while she gasped and writhed on his lap.
"Oh," she said hoarsely. "God, yes." She hummed in approval, running her hands through his hair. "Only if you promise to - oh! - tell me about..." She stuttered for a moment. "You know. You."
He grinned and brought her face down for a long kiss. Even drunk Buffy had her limits, apparently.
"I'll tell you everything you need to know," he promised, and before he could blink, his shirt was gone.
The TV survived, as did the rest of the furniture. Barely.
[A/N: Okay! So, credit where due. I'd been planning to write up a little something that had Buffy and Spike admitting to their "just the once" times with certain people in their past, and I decided to do it for Seasonal Spuffy. swsa had the idea for the "I've never" game and Buffy getting shitfaced, and then finding out that Spike had sex more times with Angel than she did. That tickled my fancy, so I totally stole it and ran with it, so there. Hee.]